The Adjacent Monster
by Frog-kun
Summary: AU parody, RPG setting. Shizuku's a mage, Natsume's a cleric, Ooshima's a thief, Yamaken's a knight, Sasayan's an item shopkeeper, and Haru's a… Pirate Demon Ninja Zombie?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note: **The characters' relationships are different in this story than in canon, so the honorifics reflect that. Also, no one appears to have last names in RPGs. Well, they do in Tales Of and Final Fantasy, but it didn't seem to fit for this story.

**The Adjacent Monster – 1**

When Sasayan met Shizuku, all hell broke loose. It didn't happen immediately and it wasn't the fault of either of them, but Sasayan couldn't say he didn't enjoy it.

It started off well enough. As soon as she walked into the door, he stood up straight, brightened up and said welcome as cheerfully as he ever had. Sasayan considered himself pretty good at the whole greeting stuff. He'd helped out with the shop since he was a kid, so he'd interacted with all sorts of customers before now. He knew everyone in town by face and name and even some travellers who didn't live in town but stopped by the item store one a semi-regular basis. But in more ways than one, Shizuku was a first.

This small town shop was probably a first for her too. The way she stood and carried herself suggested she was from one of the big cities and that meant a lot of the wares was unfamiliar to her. Most of the spices and potions were imported from the cities, so she probably recognised those at least, but the equipment was handmade.

She was a mage – that much was obvious from the black hooded robe she wore, obscuring all her features save for her face. She didn't respond to his welcoming call at all. Instead, her eyes flitted over the displays in the shop in mute silence. Sasayan had to confess that he wasn't drawn to her looks so much as he was drawn to her company.

This girl, who he had never encountered once in his life before, was hanging out with _Haru._

Sasayan didn't stare; that wasn't his thing. But good thing Haru was looking busy now. Really good thing. Sasayan meant that without any malicious intent.

As Haru circled her with all the enthusiasm of a dog waving its tail at the prospect of being fed, the mage looked at Sasayan blandly. She was a petite girl but certainly not a frail one.

"I'm buying five potions."

He chuckled. Come to think of it, something about this whole situation amused him.

"That's five hundred gold."

The black hood of her mage robes covered the back of her head, but Sasayan could see her straight brown fringe. Her gaze was probably the most interesting thing about her. It was entirely level, not exactly _cold_, but if one wanted to interpret it that way, it would be easy enough to do so. The way she looked around his store made him think she was measuring the entire room with her eyes. He hoped it was neat enough for her, that the shelves were stacked full enough. Though he could not say the same for his bedroom, he took diligent care of the shop.

Shizuku made no comment on the stock, but she acknowledged Sasayan's hard work with a curt nod. Sasayan decided he was not afraid of her. In fact, he rather liked her.

"You're a traveller, huh?" he asked, eager to know about this girl who had befriended Haru.

"Yes," she said. "I was just passing through here to get to Arcadia."

Looked like she was still a student, then, Sasayan thought. Mages-in-training went to Arcadia to pass the Occult Exam and become licensed magic users. From the looks of this diligent, astute girl, it suited her. Studying to be a mage was quite difficult, but they were useful in any town and they sure got paid a lot.

"So what's your name?" Sasayan asked. "It's not just any day I see someone tame the fearsome Haru!"

"This guy?" Shizuku glanced at Haru.

"Hey, Shizuku, that sword looks totally cool! Wow! What a cool sword!"

Shizuku's reply was blunt.

"I bet you can't equip it."

"No, wait! I totally can!"

Shizuku turned to Sasayan. "What is this guy's class anyway? I assume you know the guy…"

"Well," said Sasayan, "last week, he said he was a pirate. And yesterday, he said he was a ninja…"

"I am a Pirate Demon Ninja Zombie," Haru announced proudly.

"There you have it," said Sasayan cheerfully. "Right from the horse's mouth."

"You mean the Pirate Demon Ninja Zombie's," Haru corrected him. "Also, I think I'm a vampire too. No, a cyborg!"

Shizuku was starting to look a little testy and, well, _no wonder_. Haru was a bit much to handle at times, even if Sasayan liked him too.

"Don't worry, Shizuku-san," said Sasayan, remembering her name. "Haru's a good guy."

"Hn," grunted Shizuku.

* * *

A little backstory here.

Haru was the problem kid of the town. He had hair that suggested he didn't know what a comb was. When he was young, his parents had dropped him off in town and he had lived with the innkeeper ever since. Haru wasn't a bad kid, really. He had never done anything outright malicious and it wasn't like he had a stuck-up attitude or anything, even if he didn't turn up to school.

Haru spent his days ambling around town not doing very much in particular, though somehow he still managed to get by. He didn't have an actual class and, as far as Sasayan could see, he had never been outside the town walls. A guy like him was better off adventuring and Haru probably knew that better than anyone.

That he had latched onto Shizuku, a girl his age who seemed to live her life with all the purpose that he lacked, was perhaps not such a surprising thing in retrospect.

* * *

"Sasayan-kun!"

The girl had come into the item shop not to buy anything but to gossip, as usual. Sasayan didn't mind. It wasn't good for business, but townsfolk were generally pretty stingy anyway. Any item shopkeeper knew it was the travellers who purchased any of the expensive stock and who made up the bulk of the paying customers. Sasayan wondered if he would see Shizuku again, or had she already left town?

Evidently, the girl in front of him was thinking the same thing. "Sasayan-kun, I heard you talked to that mage girl! What's she like? What's she liiiiiiiiiike?"

"Calm down a little, Natsume-san. I'll tell you." Sasayan launched into a recount of his encounter yesterday. As he spoke, he noticed Natsume's eyes light up like a lamp. She had always been an impressionable young girl.

"Mitty sounds like a totally cool and awesome person!"

"What? You've already given her a nickname?"

"I just so want to meet her!" Natsume sighed, pressing her hands against her cheeks. "Do you think she's still in town?"

Sasayan figured that Natsume probably wanted to meet Shizuku because she seemed like the type who would be good at magic. After all, she was planning to take the Occult Exam at such a young age. (How old was Shizuku? She didn't look any older than they did. They could have gone to school together.) Natsume, who had fancied herself a cleric since god-knows-when, still had a long way to go in comparison.

Sasayan could remember this one time, when Natsume wanted to heal a squashed bug, she cast a spell that made it fly into Sasayan's sandwich instead. Not one of his better memories, no.

"I dunno if Shizuku-san's still in town," Sasayan admitted. "You can check out the inn – you know, Mi-chan's place."

"O-Oh. Okay." Natsume nodded.

She had had a crush on the innkeeper for maybe as long as she had wanted to be a cleric. She was always nervous about being alone with him.

Sasayan glanced at the clock. "Hey, we'll go down together when I finish my shift in fifteen minutes, okay?"

"Um, okay!"

Sasayan busied himself with sorting out the stock.

* * *

The door in front of Shizuku's room was locked shut and Haru was sitting cross-legged in front of it. This probably meant that Shizuku was still inside.

Mi-chan had been friendly and informative, in the brief and succinct sort of way. He explained that Shizuku was paying by the night but she hadn't yet decided exactly how long she was going to be staying. The Occult Exam wasn't for another month or so, so Sasayan supposed she did have time before she set off again, but honestly, there probably wasn't much appeal in a sleepy town like theirs. Maybe Haru had something to do with it.

Or maybe it didn't, since it was quite clear he had been kicked out.

"I only said I wanted to sleep with her," Haru grumbled.

Natsume, Sasayan noted with amusement, looked just about ready to spontaneously combust. "S-S-_Sleep_?!"

"Yeah," said Haru. "I mean, I started taking off my shirt and everything."

"You probably freaked her out," said Sasayan. Meanwhile, Natsume hyperventilated. "So what's she doing now?" Sasayan went on.

"In her room," said Haru, scratching the back of his head. "She said: 'Put your shirt back on, get out of the room and stop making noise so I can study.'"

Oh wow, Sasayan thought. Haru and Shizuku were probably the oddest couple that could possibly be conceived by a divine being inscrutable to mankind. Just how did they become friends anyway?

"Mitty is the greatest!" Natsume interjected.

"Guess we should probably leave her to it, then," said Sasayan with a shrug.

"I want to go with her," said Haru.

"To where?" Natsume asked, puzzled.

Haru grinned.

"To Arcadia."

This was the point where all hell started to break loose.

"Wait, you can't do that," said Sasayan. "You don't even _know _her. Besides, does she really want you tagging along…?"

"Sure she does," said Haru guilelessly.

Sasayan could feel his brain mildly imploding.

"You need to explain to me how you met," he said.

The door to Shizuku's opened at that moment, sending Haru flying.

Shizuku peered down at him and then looked up at Sasayan and Natsume, her eyebrows slightly raised. From the looks of it, she might have been listening in to this conversation for a while. She was clutching a heavy tome in her hands, her thumb inserted between the closed pages, marking a spot where she had evidently been reading.

Then she looked down at Haru, who was still clutching the back of his head and rolling around on the floor melodramatically.

She sighed.

"He's right," she said shortly.

"What, really?" said Sasayan, blinking.

So far, this girl had completely defied all of Sasayan's attempts to understand her. She was just like Haru, only in a completely different way, if that made any sense at all.

"But not entirely," Shizuku added. She spoke completely matter-of-factly. "I told him he should go to Arcadia. I didn't mention anything about him going with me." She turned to Haru, showing him the book in her arms. "You know this spell, don't you?"

"Huh, yeah, Fimbulvetr."

Sasayan stared. Since when did Haru know _magic_?

Shizuku seemed to read the unspoken question in Sasayan's face. "That's what I want to know."

**...tbc…**

**(A/N: **As a sidenote, this fandom is tiny, but it intimidates the hell outta me. At first, I was going to do a shipping fic, but then I read the fics here and realised that no, no. You guys do it so much better than I ever could. Wow, the fic quality in this fandom is really just amazing so far. I'm really looking forward to seeing how the fandom grows.)


	2. Chapter 2

**(A/N: **Turning this into a series of short sketches for now. Enjoy!)

**The Adjacent Monster – 2**

Some distance outside the town, a young man with a sword in his hand struggled with his honour and his pride, but mostly he struggled in reading a map.

He was, by any other measure, a fairly intelligent and worldly young person. Yamaken, as we shall call him, had been training to be a knight since he was a young boy, and he was pretty damn good with a sword, he had to admit. Monsters were annoying to handle, but when he focused his mind on it, he could dispatch them quickly enough. The problem, as he tried to reason with himself, was that this was preventing him from getting where he needed to go.

Also, it was a humid day, and Yamaken was sweating like a pig under his armour. Let no one underestimate just how annoying it is to wear tin cans over your shirt.

"You seem lost, young sir."

Yamaken looked up. An old man pushing a cart on the other side of the road was speaking out to him. People tended to have this vision of older people, that they were all stuck in wheelchairs or something, but this guy seemed fit and spry despite his age.

"I'm not lost," Yamaken insisted coolly. Obviously, he knew where he was going. He just… didn't know where he was…

"So where are you headed?" asked the old man.

"Arcadia."

"Oh," said the old man, his eyes twinkling. "Then you should be heading east, not west, then?"

_Oh, right_. Yamaken mumbled his thanks under his breath.

The old man looked like he was about to say something more when the bushes behind the old man rustled.

Instantly, Yamaken's hand went to the sword by his hip.

_A monster!_

"Look out!" he exclaimed. The man blinked and turned around in surprise as the inhuman creature emerged from the bush. Yamaken's sword made a hissing noise as he drew it from the sheath and held it in ready stance.

"That's not a monster," said the old man helpfully. "That's just a rooster."

"Oh," said Yamaken.


End file.
